Quote:
Originally Posted by WishfulThinker66
It appears Larry64 that I have a pretty hard core view on this. I guess we can chalk it up to personal experience.
In the relationship I spoke about it very much got in the way and affected it. As example, the social media contact was a particular problem when I discovered he took some of these 'friendships' into real life. His relationships outside our own began to take a precedence in that I took a back seat. When such activity is a distraction to the real relationship then it has definitely become a problem. In my opinion, sitting there texting a 'friend' while they ought to be putting the attention on you is definitely a problem which should never happen. Perhaps there does exist others out there who might agree that this is a no-no. I am pretty sure there will be some that agree this is all not very comforting.
I am happy for you that you were able to salvage something important but wonder if you felt forced to concede to your original judgement. I think it important thusly to voice your boundaries, even if it means disagreement.
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Truly there is a line that must not be crossed and boundries should be applied in all instances. When your mate is giving attention to someone else, male or female, and that time should be being applied to us, at that moment, certainly that is a no-no. So in that aspect, there are clearly times to be texting and to not be texting, unless it happened to be a life or death
situation.
"did I feel forced to concede?" Well, I still feel very strongly about what I originally thought, but in order to make this relationship work out, I felt it was better to bend my philosophies a bit like a willow tree. I'm like you though, to show my total commitment to our relationship, I am willing to give up all communication with present females in my life except family which is my daughter. I think to allow her, her freedom within the relationship, she should have full reign to do as she pleases and her and I should talk about anything that either of us feel uncomfortable about. I don't own her but certainly I want her to Love me and give her all to me. Confine a beautiful butterfly within a cage, it soon dies. Let it roam free to fly as it pleases and it lives a long full prosperous life. So yes, I love her and I want this relationship to work out and so therefore I am willing to make compromises to see that it works out. Insecurities from our past will always be in the back of our heads, we learned valuable hard lessons from them, but on the other hand, we should not constrain our mates in what they are doing if it helps them to live a fuller, better, happier life. Certainly we want all their time and devotion completely, hehe, but we must too be careful how we do that. No body owns no body and at any given moment they are susceptible to walking out of our life. So we must be willing to bend like a willow in order to maintain our happiness as well as theirs. Truthfully speaking, we may have gotten deeply jilted from a past relationship, but one must stop and consider, not all people are the same. Truly there are some sincere hearted individuals out there that would never do anything to let another come in between them and their mates.... and if they seen something beginning to happen, if they truly loved their mate with all their heart, they would disconnect the relationship with the person trying to come in between. Because that individual that is trying to steal our mate doesn't just have to be a friend of the opposite sex through texting, it could just as well be the individual ringing up your order at the grocery store. Stay positive and Thanks!
