I have made the most amazing dinners single handily for 12. Fine china, etc... with no help. It was stupid of me. I should have hired a cleaning lady. I’m classy enough to put on an elegant dinner party but too afraid of having a paid assistant. Maybe because our cleaning lady was shot at in front of me by her boyfriend at our house when I was two, and also because my mother always did it that way because we had no money.

Hmm, an employee would have removed the struggle dynamic between my mother and husband. Hindsight is 20/20.

Now I remember, my husband didn’t want me to have help. He said they would break something. But he hated all the work the evening took and helped me stressed and joylessly.