Thanks for the suggestions and for such kind offers. If I had the money I would take my cats and so be out of here. No, I have no where to leave them and I won't do so, because that would be even worse for me and for them than this is. The stress of living with this day after day after day is horrendous. My windows are so filthy from smoke, but there's no point in cleaning them, just to have them filthy again. The dirty windows make seeing anything that much more difficult.

Another day of the eerie pale-orange-brown light, the stink of smoke, this depression that no medication can take away and that no therapy can relieve. Of course, I don't think therapy would help; since my t has been out sick for 2 weeks, how can I really know.

On top of it all, the damn*ed mail delivery is messed up, so I cannot receive stuff I have ordered or need. In addition, my POS TV service is down (nothing to do with the fires; the cable company just wants me to pay, pay, pay for a blank screen - literally, I cannot have the TV service stopped with losing internet. Such a racket, hey?). I hardly watch TV, but I do turn it on sometimes just to hear human voices.

Ugh. I'm sorry to sound so down. I feel terribly discouraged.