I feel like certain issues are not a problem for me, I realize I am normal (somewhat) and what I do/think/feel doesn't seem out of the ordinary, or nothing to worry about.


And THEN, I feel massive guilt even though I don't feel (or maybe think) like what I do/think/feel is abnormal. So, how can I feel like whatever I think/do/say/feel is normal but feel such horrible guilt? And then why do I have to connect things that are not connected and add to the guilt?


I don't know how to be self compassionate when I have an ego state that apparently feels/thinks I am guilty and deserves to be tortured versus the ego state that is calm, cool, and collected. It may not be true, but I feel like a part of me is trying to destroy me. It's as if a part of me is an anathema to myself.


I think I can get past this, however, I am currently having massive difficulties. I haven't given up on myself. I just don't want to negatively affect anyone in this process. I would NOT be okay with that.