At one point, part of my trauma history was really unclear to me -- the memory was unclear -- sort of like still images that I couldn't piece together.

What my therapist was very careful about was NEVER to suggest what was actually there. In fact, he was pretty explicit is saying that unless and until the history became clear, we weren't going to explore it and run the risk of creating a narrative that just wasn't reality.

Instead, we worked on what I was feeling. We worked on my self-concept. We worked on what I DID know for sure and left the rest alone.

As I worked on other issues, other history, there came the moment when things did become more clear (and were confirmed eventually by a witness). ONLY then, did we really look at those events. ONLY then did my therapist confirm that he had suspected as much from certain things that I had said, but he wasn't sure.

What he told me at that point (after the history was clear and confirmed) is that he had for a long time had this vision of me hanging onto the edge of a dark pit where the bottom couldn't be seen. He had a feeling that if I let go, it actually wasn't a long drop to the bottom, but it wasn't his job to pry my fingers off that edge . His job was simply to help be find a way to get out of the pit -- what was at the bottom wasn't really in the equation.

What bothers me about your therapist is that she seems to be trying to define what is at the bottom of that pit for you. It's possible there is nothing there -- that doesn't make it any less frightening or dangerous or debilitating. Your therapist could be helping you deal with your fears and finding ways to work with what you do know without you ever actually knowing all the details. It's precarious when they start filling in the blanks for you with their own stuff.