Sunrise, sorry i am only now answering I was too shaky yesterday very panicky. He is not gone. He will be back. That has happened to me too. I thought the same thing. It would seem to me that sometimes we (inners and yourself) get overwhelmed maybe and some move forward and some retreat, at least my take on it. I am not sure. So he will be back. Not gone. I read your other comment on integration. I think for me I prefer blended. I don't think for me I will be too integrated. I think I will be more blended. In fact, my p-doc doesn't use the word integrated at all. He justs says I will be better. That works better for me. To be better would be huge at this point. This past weekend was so bad. So better, is good.

Yeah "inner family" was actually given to me by someone without DID but a very understanding person. I think in part for me it is because i have always felt distance and alone from my immediate family and sometimes from my DH and children so this makes me feel not so alone.

I think he will be back when you need him to be and he will just be there. When you don't try he will be there. And each time you will understand better how the contact is reached. That is what is happening for me. I am gaining some small knowledge on my flashbacks. Not enough to totally control them but to understand them more. I am not trying to stop them as I want and need to understand exactly the abuse although some of it has been confirmed. But my t said I need to process the flashbacks in order to finally be rid of them. And this I want.

Good luck, let me know what your t says. I think it is always a learning experience to hear what other t say.

fragmented