It has occurred to me that decades of taking meds has actually worsened my mental illness. It's much worse not than it was in my 30's, say. I'm tired of being poisoned. I'm actively looking for another way. And that might mean being on meds for shorter periods of time, rather than staying on them constantly, year after year.

And my favorite one is pdocs prescribing AP's for anxiety and sleep because benzos are "addictive". Never mind the weight gain, health issues, TD, and the fact that AP's are also addictive, but no pdoc wants to admit that.