Hi golden_eve!

While I am definitely no where even close to your stage of life where you are getting married yet, I have observed a similar situation with some of my family members before, when a cousin on my father's side of the family eloped, sending his parents and that side of the family into a frenzy, exactly the same family who hosted the most ornate wedding and reception in a church for another cousin from that same side of the family just a few years before. Like what has already been stated in this thread, this seems to be a pattern with conservative or traditional families when they see their loved ones tie the knot.

Again, I'm no expert in dealing with loved ones, much less in the realm of up-and-coming marriages, but I can most definitely say from experience from counseling to help resolve everyday stressors I have with my family that setting up boundaries is a tried and true method. And in this case, it's asserting control over how you will plan your marriage in a cheaper fashion instead of letting someone else take control, regardless of any resulting feelings. Another helpful tip I've learned here on PC and also from you is to avoid guilt trips wherever possible. Your family members should definitely stay out of taking complete control over your life and marriage plans, and there is surely no guilt from my end about your plans no matter how they appear. You don't have to pack your bags for another guilt trip anymore!

To bring some humor in, one of my favorite Yahoo Answers I have seen recently (about how to deal with clingyness in relationships, but no less different solution) was short and simple:
"I think we have this situation taken care of, I LOVE YOU"
"Thanks so much for your input, but I'll let you know when I need it, I LOVE YOU"
"I have my own way of handling things, I LOVE YOU"
"I'll still keep you in mind as we plan this out I LOVE YOU"

Hope this helps!