I am going to have to talk to my therapist/psychiatrist next time I see them about these intrusive thoughts as they are getting upsetting. Not sure if it's OCD or what, but something is going on.
In better news I got some work done today despite losing it for a few hours. Also trying to make some moves in my life to get involved in things outside of work. I need a social support network and some activities to distract myself with.