Hi,

I went through a stage like that DazedandConfused254, and I was quite similar to you where I really wasn't happy with myself for doing it. And even now looking back, I don't feel the best about it except that, hey, it's just where I was in those times. I definitely had the sense, though, that in some of the cases, I needed to get things off of my chest in a non hurtful way about the person. But to cut a long story short I just don't talk about people behind their backs anymore, except to say they're a good person. I just wanted to raise my standard about that and if I have something to say about the person - if I really think I need to say something - then, yes, just say it to the person themselves. Of course, saying something to the person may effect your relationship with them, but that's part of it. You just have to factor that in before you say something.

But the whole thing's tricky and I just try my best not to say anything divisive about people in ordinary conversation. Unless it's a political figure of some sort :-)

So, that's my two cents. Having a counselor is always good too, because you can process your feelings with them in a non judgmental way.