Our trauma therapy is causing memory integration. I don't want it. I don't want to know those things.

I'm having nightmares and hallucinating even worse.

Normally when I switch, I'm still somewhat co-conscious. Tonight I was completely gone for a bit. It scares me, especially because I've come to the realization that I'm possibly not the original person here. I always thought I was but I think I may have been wrong. I don't know if that makes sense or if I'm just going crazy again.

I'm feeling so alone. Even with the others here and people around me, I still feel so stranded. It's like no one can understand what I'm going through and I don't want them to. But damn this is lonely. I'm trapped in a nightmare and I don't see an escape.