I consciously noticed it in my mid-20's, but looking back, it was there trough my teens as well. Very clear in school perfomance. In some years I was on the top of the class and even year in the whole school (also won those kinds of awards) - then more mediocre relatively and just blended in mostly.

The fear of success concept is something I have been trying to explore for a while. I experienced a version of it in early recovery from alcoholism as well. Like every 2nd or 3rd day sober, when I experienced myself sober, and what capabilities that states opened up, I would dump or clog it again with alcohol. Chronic relapser. Many years of this in spite of the crystal clear awareness, during my 30's. It led to a still pretty successful career, but what could it have been without the addiction? If the awareness got too strong and in the way of my momentary desire for oblivion, I would drink or otherwise escape. I still do many things, including posting on this forum, to escape. Why this most stupid, self-destructive, and also other-destructive (I did not work, did not even get out out of bed often, ignored my many responsibilities) act? What am I escaping from, really? These were some questions I wanted to address in therapy. I don't don't think I was open enough for it though and I don't think I choose the right Ts to lead me to it.