This is what I'm choosing. To go out one or two more times. Yes, on the second date, my attraction had grown. So much so, that I'd decided to tell him I saw potential, wanted to date, but go slow.

I was crushing on him until our phone convo last night. He seemed quite comfortable, was eating, lol, and while we were talking, it was completely clear to me that he is not good with language or math. Don't want to judge. But I guess I did.

Someone asked if we have talked politics and we have. He is interested in what seems to me, science, history, and politics. He grows plants. He is artistic. Went to school for art. And he is kind.

I understand what you guys are saying about attraction, and if it doesn't feel right, don't continue. But I'm also not completely trusting of my attraction radar. In the past, I've been constantly attracted to jerks. Men who haven't treated me well, had lukewarm feelings for me, threw me crumbs, hot and cold, only wanted one thing. On the flip side, with nice guys I've thrown the towel in soon after or just seen them as friend material. I'd like to change all this. Even if I end up choosing not him.

I am also currently in conversation with my therapist about attraction, and I'm going to talk to her about this later this week when I see her. She's a good therapist. Would never push me one way or another. But does give advice, and she is intelligent and wise.

I have found myself, a few times, bingeing on junk food over feeling like "this is it?" So maybe it will turn out you guys are right. But I'm going to go on a couple more dates w/ him and also talk to my therapist.