Quote:
Originally Posted by Xynesthesia
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All the self-destructive behavior was after the bullying, the bullying took place before age 10 and everything else after. Definitely my eating disorder followed right after that and I only had 2-3 years seemingly without self-destruction and addiction in my 20's (maybe not even that, I had sex and relationships then) before alcoholism followed.. . .
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Therapy is very poor, in my opinion and experience, at addressing or even understanding, difficulties, with or damages to, the sense of self.
It's my bias to see that kind of thing, because I believe that's what therapy didn't do anything to help me with, and may have hurt me more. But the bipolar and a lack of central, continuing motivation that you mentioned in your OP brought that thought to my mind before I read the quote above.
So, for what it's worth, my insight for me, this morning, has been that "I", my psychological and emotional system, replaced the joy of (and the search toward) being somebody for the joy of being alive.
They can both be sources of joy, but the quality is somewhat different.
Do you meditate? That's not "the solution" but it's something that's been around for awhile and has helped me with a sense of grounding and just being in the moment. That's before I had "today's insight" this morning.
Seems to me like a coherent self, and/or sense of self, would inherently provide motivation, consistent with the person and the environment at the moment. But, as I said, it's my bias to see that kind of thing. So, just my 2 cents, take it for what it is worth (maybe nothing).