So I have been off depakote for a week and a half and lithium and wellbutrin and alcohol for about a week. (Minus the half beer last night but I am not gonna restart the count for that tiny bit)

I feel great physically. My sleep has been 6-8hrs the last few nights and I havent had any of the hand tremors that I was having since going on lithium at the start of september. The only thing I really had trouble with was a little brain fog at the start and one day of headache/dizziness.

Mentally I feel better than I have in 2 years finally feel like myself, although I liked the euphoric hypo/manic episodes but those werent really me either. Im kind of a quiet, low grade I hate almost everything/everyone but want to help the world person. Not I love everything and everyone and want to tell you all about it.

I am still a little scared after having pdocs drill it into my head that I need their concoctions. And Im angry that I believed them and went through the hell that it caused. I feel so much more sure about it every day that I feel good and I just really dont want to find out this wont last. Im still a little worried I am bipolar but I dont believe it right now even though I did for a long time. Should I stop posting here?

Do you think this is a decent time to start feeling more hopeful? I was having mood swings almost every 2 weeks on their meds so I feel like something would have happened by now.

I am having a really hard time putting together charts when people come to the hospital for mental health issues. My mood drops instantly and I start feeling angry all over again about all of this. Work has been my main escape from thinking about any of this and now its making it worse.

And to top it all off my niece just got admitted in the city(5hrs away from me) I am so worried for her, she is only a teenager but has had a rough life just like I did as a child and I would say she is like me in a lot of ways. I am trying to be positive about it because no one tried to help me until I attemped at 17 and even then it was half a$* help so maybe this is a good thing but after this experience with this system I am having a hard time believing it is.

That was pretty random you dont have to reply to everything or at all but it feels good saying it to someone.