I can't do this anymore.

There is just WAY too much going on in my life right now, and I CAN'T let the depression take over. It's already affecting my concentration (which is not good in the mist of midterms and paper deadlines), and it's affecting my mood so much that all I want to do is cry, but I can't, and all I want is to feel like I matter, but I don't, and I'm so not even close to being worthy.

And I have a bunch of T appt's and dr appt's this week, so I am working on it, but its just so damn overwhelming. And everyone that i'm close to is so far away... literally on both ends of the country, and I feel so distanced. I need my aunt back

I'm sorry.

I've been avoiding posting on here because everything has been so triggering lately. So I appologize for not being around and not being supportive. So you don't need to be supportive back, i don't expect that. I just needed to post because I needed to disrupt my thinking... I needed to try and get a handle on these cognitive distortions of mine.

I'm sorry everyone. I'm done now