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04:15 PM

The wrong medication mixes can be terrible. The right ones, aren't, at least in my experience. Sometimes it can be hard to know what is the biggest culprit to mental unwellness. The mental illness itself or a wrong medication mix. I warn people to keep in mind that the illness came before the medications. Something did motivate the diagnosis.

Some people with bipolar disorder get away with never being medicated, although usually with some prices to pay. Some people quit medications hoping what brought about their need (or supposed need) will never come again. Indeed there are lucky people who have few episodes in their lives, or at least milder ones going forward. However, not everyone is so lucky. It is for sure a gamble going off of medications. I am concerned when people who go off of medications glorify the "results". They may be gambling with their own future mental wellness, but they could be acting as a sort of Pied Piper for others to gamble, too.

My youngest nephew grew very frustrated with his bipolar medications. He gained lots of weight and still had severe symptoms, mostly depression. He tried to find relief, but it was tough. He even went through two series of ECTs. Then he decided to up and quit his meds. The following is what happened to him.

Possible trigger:

It seemed to be a miracle! He started feeling so much better. He lost 50 lbs. He started doing things he hadn't been able to do before. This continued for a good two years. Unfortunately, though, his reprieve ended. His depression came back with a vengeance!

For a young person, or even older person, the taste of happiness after years of hardship can be intoxicatingly wonderful. Whew! It's gone! But the return of misery can seem beyond disappointing. Hope may seem to evaporate more than ever before. It was only a few weeks before his 9th and final hospitalization. My sister called 911 when he threatened his life.

At the hospital, my nephew seemed to miraculously improve in two days. The doctors hadn't even put him back on a therapeutic dose of any medication before he asked to leave feeling "better". One week passed at home again on barely any medication. My sister went to work on a Saturday just briefly to finish some work. My brother-in-law and other nephew were out shopping. When they all returned home they didn't see my nephew. They called, but there was no response. Scared, my brother-in-law went down to the basement. My youngest nephew was there. But gone.

I struggled with side effects of all extremes and medication mixes that seemed all wrong for a good five years. Damn! I bit the bitter and learned patience and tolerance like never before. Then I found a medication mix that really made a difference! And it proved its efficacy many times over. It's been eight years since my last of 10 hospitalizations. I've had some challenges since, but lots of successes, too. I am so happy with where I am now compared to where I had been before my diagnosis, and struggles to find the right treatment. I'm alive and happy. My nephew isn't. I have hope for the future and have learned so much along my journey. I truly feel safe. You couldn't take my medications away if you tried. My doctors and I persisted and it paid off.

I sometimes feel so angry at the hospital who let my nephew go home on barely any medication. Far below a therapeutic level. If he had stayed there longer and was sufficiently treated, would things be different?

I'm glad you feel so well. I hope you remain well. If you don't, I wish you the patience and determination to find a medication or medication mix (or whatever) that will help you better and keep you safe. If you need support, I am here right now and would be happy to share some. I don't, however, happen to feel happy about your quitting medications. How could I? I'm sorry.