Not letting go of past pain can be a way our sub mind tries to protect us from future harm. When we are little and we get curious and stick our fingers in a flame, it hurts. It hurts a lot. That memory of reaching out and getting burned stays with us so the next time we see a fire, we know not to reach out. Don’t touch that...it hurts. Lesson learned. This is a good thing. We learn via experience. However, it sometimes loses the ability to separate true danger from past pain.

When we are hurt by those who are supposed to love us, it can create a core memory experience and keep it on replay until it thinks we are ready to safely move ahead. Problem with that is...the sub mind never thinks it’s safe if there was too much pain to deal with. It locks down and keeps us in a loop. Don’t trust. Don’t try. Don’t go forward. Don’t...don’t...don’t...en infinitum. We are frozen in an endless circle of pain and mistrust.

It’s easy to say, “get over it”. Other people do it, right? Probably not as well as you think they do. The difference is...we who are challenged with trekking thru this life with minds that work in different ways, are burdened by aspects of our psyche “normal” people brush off. It’s not that they are any better at letting go. It’s that they don’t feel and react to stimulus the way we do.

I told someone this earlier. Let go of what no longer serves you.

It’s not about our inability to cope. It’s about our reasons. However, regardless of who we are, there is universal truth. Always.

Are those memories at all helpful to you?

Do they bring you peace and tranquillity?

Do they make your life better or easier in any way?

No? OK. Now, we have a starting point. If you can shift enough to admit mindfully that these thoughts are NOT helping you in any way. It establishes a Truth for you. Keep remembering that Truth each time those feelings surface. The goal here is to retrain your submind to see these thoughts as no longer valuable so when you are ready...you can thank them for protecting you when you needed it but, now, you no longer feel they serve you and you can let them become husks, echoes of a past and a path you no longer want to be on. You can then move on...with baby steps if you need them or jump off a cliff like I did...only because I had it firmly in my mind that it was my cliff. I built that b***h and I knew where I wanted to land.

I hope that helps.