Actions do speak louder than words. We have one like that. What works for us with him is 1.Let him know we understand & feel the same 2. Let him get it out....pound on pillows, throw soft things, scream (usually in shower cuz neighbors) cut up things, tear up paper (something about the sound adds to it)anything. 3. Make him understand that cutting or anything like that hurts us is the same as what ex did & that's not acceptable. We have been hurt enough. But writing whatever on paper is acceptable. Even cutting or tearing it up afterwards is fine. Actually, we prefer dealing with him then ones that hold it in. Another of ours has the exact same feelings but tries to be logical, *mature*, would not display any outward anger. Uses words like forgiving, get over it. All the while seething inside. We find that much harder to deal with.Take care of yourself. Hope this helped. Know how scary it is.