When I was talking with my friend, she made it clear that she'd told him to back off, especially since she also just had a breakup. I believe her and I know my mind was messing with me a bit on this subject, not completely because there was some stuff there, but I'm also suffering with getting to be severe paranoia.

As for my ex... I just can't hurt him. A part of me wants to, a part of me wants to verbally tear him a new one (maybe physically too). At the end of the day though, I still feel the need to protect him from harm. Regardless of what's going on with me, I can't just ignore five years of being this way. Ha, a part of me is still in love with him. Five years, and he just moves on....