Brief recap of T session from Monday: Sat down, he said, smiling, "You decided to come back!" Me: "Yes, for now at least!" Talked briefly about some stuff that came up in PC thread.

The main topic we discussed was my leaving Sunday's 5K race after a mile (1/3 of race). T: "Tell me about what happened." I said it was a mix of the cold (temperatures right at freezing--32 F), extreme difficulty of the course (cross country, some really steep hills), and my having trouble breathing. I said how at first, when I got back to the car, I was crying and really down on myself, texting H to apologize for being a quitter and a failure. H was supportive. Then I said how I started trying to reframe it to myself, to think, "OK, this was a case of me realizing that something was too much for me and taking myself out of it. I didn't fail." Me to T: "So I think that's progress, right?" T, looking pleased, "Yes I'd say so." He said how I'd used some physiological coping skills with crying, then getting myself to stop. Then I reached out for and received social support from my H. Then I used more cognitive sort of skills in the self-talk. Me: "Also, even a couple weeks ago, I most likely would have contacted you to look for reassurance. But I didn't feel I had to do that. Plus I figured I'd see you today." T seemed to think that was good, too.

He said I should see what I can take out of what happened with the 5K. T: "There's a saying that 'experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.'" I said I wasn't sure I'd heard that before. So he talked about what I could take away from it. I said partly that perhaps cross-country courses aren't for me. Or that I need more training in cold weather. He was saying could go beyond that. He asked if he'd talked to me about "fixed vs. growth mindset" before. I said I didn't think so.

So he went on to explain how a fixed mindset means someone might think they do or don't have natural talent in something and that's just how they are. While a growth mindset, they feel they have the potential to improve in something, even if no natural talent. I said the fixed mindset resonated with me--I'd always thought and been told I was no good at athletic endeavors. So in my head, I'm just not an athlete. And for example, that 10 years ago, I took a karate class, which I felt was a great physical workout. But I wasn't picking up on skills as quickly and felt like I was holding the class back and ended up quitting. T said was interesting that I was also worried about the other students being annoyed with me. I said was reason I felt I could never do a team sport.

I said was kind of like that with art, too, was told at one point as a kid that I was "terrible" at painting, so I just assumed I sucked at it and didn't try much after that. I said how my mom said if I encountered something difficult, I'd often just give up instead of continuing to try. How I stuck with things that came more easily to me, like academics (English and math particularly). T said that's a form of fixed mindset, too, assuming I'm good at certain things, rather than having to make an effort. So then it was probably jarring for me if I encountered something more difficult in that area. I said yeah, with math.

He said with a growth mindset, then one thinks that they can get better at most anything with practice. He said even if someone has natural talent in an area, if they don't practice and work at it, then someone without natural talent who *does* work at it will most likely surpass them. Which I found to be interesting. So we talked about ways I could try to apply the growth mindset to my life, including in terms of running/walking but also beyond that.

It was a session that really made me think about some of the patterns I had throughout my life and also how my parents had contributed to them. Scheduled, I went over to pay, he shook my hand and said, "Good luck out there today." I turned to leave, he gestured at the couch and said, "Would you mind throwing away those couple of tissues?" Me: "Oh sorry! I didn't realize I'd left them there." T: "It's OK." I grabbed them and threw them in trash." T: "Take good care." Me: "Thanks, you too."