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Kick her to the curb. What is so special about her that you couldnt find someplace else, that you have to put up with this b.s.? Because after this, its just going to be some other nonsense. She will NOT let you be there for your youngest for the next ten years, this is just the first step. Let her find someone who is free like her.
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I have a lot of sympathy for this perspective.
GF is being completely stubborn, uncooperative, unreasonable, and unhelpful. She wants to trash something that you and your ex have painstakingly and beautifully built for the sake of your children.
You have lucky, lucky children right now.
From what you have told us, gf isn't even trying to see things from the perspective of you and your children. She just knows that you are wrong and she is right. Period. She feels free to tell you off.
Every holiday that comes along, every other weekend if you have that type of arrangement, whenever your ex or you pick up the kids, every phone call with your ex, every concert, teacher conference, sporting event, etc. there is going to be tension and/or arguments because of gf's inability and unwillingness to trust, because of her unwillingness to join the family rather than trash it.
And of course she is going to be upset every time you dare to cook dinner for your kids.
Is that how you want to live?