Was rapid cycling then had a trigger which PTSD took over.. and I rapid cycles slower with it. Now I feel a bit leveling out... I know management management management

I wish I only had one dx.. I am not looking forward to mixed states and more rapid cycles which usually come In the winter with the reminder that I have no family while everyone else has family or friends .. yes, generalizing but it's a fair generalization for the majority of the population.
Yes, it was safer for me to leave my own blood but I am upset that I haven't felt like I have been able to create my own family or what I feel as true friendship.. besides with my ex ...
Idk .. the bpd takes in to play too.
I don't fit in this check in thread but it's ok. Thanks for letting me take up some space.
I know, #notalone .. but it's awfully lonely sometimes

I can't sleep tonight, :/ ugh