I am so sorry you came from an abusive home and that really must compound the fear.

I did not come from an abusive home yet I can think of times I have gotten irrationally fearful and paranoid. So some of the fear may be purely because you are bipolar. For me, adding Zoloft (Sertraline) and taking less Bupropion helped stop my constant feeling of fight or flight. I also take Gabapentin and Xanax. I agree with Miguel's Mom that you doctor might be able to prescibe something that eases your suffering.