Quote:
Originally Posted by Kshearar
Hello everyone,
I am currently engaged to a 27 year old, I have been with him for well over a year. I have caught him out in numerous lies, for example, he's gone to meet his "boss" at the gas station to recieve his pay, then mysteriously lost his wallet containing that "pay". I was extremely depressed and nearly tried to overdose on tramadol, he lied for 3 days straight pretending to be driving down to my area (we live 1400 km apart), pretended to be staying by his uncle, pretended to be at a job he never even had or applied for. He admitted it only AFTER I threatened to leave. He told me he was scared he would lose me so he lied. He's lied to my parents faces, multiple times. He sits at home all day, plays games, doesn't look for work, nothing. Now bare in mind, I earn barely enough per month to support TWO of us. I'm the only one working, and he lives off of my money in my flat. I have to pay for rent, groceries, toiletries, everything. Everytime I mention the fact that I need help, he needs a job, he throws an emotional sob story and tries to guilt trip me. I should also probably mention, He talks about me behind my back to his family, telling them I am "using" him and emotionally abusing him, that I am not caring for him like I should be, I have seen the messages on his phone where his mother blatantly insults me and he agrees with her. I have recieved very rude messages on facebook from his brother about it too. Bare in mind, he's saying it's emotional abuse because I get angry and sometimes yell when he sits using all my stuff, and does NO help. I don't "care" for him like I should be, yet i'm letting him live here rent free, paying all his expenses, and I'm at the point where I just can't anymore. Emotionally and mentally. I don't want to be alone, because I suffered through severe depression and have
and I'm still under watch by my family. I need help  What should I do. Is it my fault that he's lying so much? I don't know what I could've done wrong. |
Its your flat, and on top of that, your life. Kick him to the curb. he needs to go. You are not responsible for his well being, his emotional stability or his financial stability. On top of that, you're not even married, underscoring what I said already!
He throws the "emotional abuse" bs at you as a manipulation pure and simple and I'll say furthermore that he is by no means a victim but more than likely, indeed really pretty sure on this the emotional/mental abuse is coming from the opposite direction.
Take heart, you're obviously a good, responsible person in that you are even in a position to have a leeching, deceptive squatter in your house and take care of them. Only a responsible person that has a grip on their own life can do this. Be confident in yourself in that you are not the problem here (I know you know this but his manipulations in the heat of the moment make you question it, right?) Stop self harming, or I should say try very hard to -- and throw that thought of punishing yourself in any way because you absolutely are not the one that deserves that.
He is a 27 yr old spoiled child and not kicking him to the curb is only furthering this and to your detriment and future health. Not worth sacrificing and of your own time, your life or health for this guy. make him go leech off someone else.
Be strong and get him out of there!