I will admit I thought
That even with serious
Mental disorders that
Drugs may only be needed
To but things back
In balance for a temporary
Time scale and then
You could wean off them.
But I had concluded
That my condition
Was like having to
Take insulin for diabetes.
I did know I needed
Them for life for
A chemical imbalance
In the brain. But I
Hoped that there
Was a way to limit
Dependency on chemicals.
I did not tell that person
That medication was
Not required. I believed
That they were necessary.
That the medication was
An unspoken and
Necessary evil. And
It was only when
I cut my dose (unsupervised)
That I got unwell.
I think being back
With my family
Brought back the
Memories of them
Saying something was
Wrong with me.
The doctor did not
Say I would need them
For life. They were not
There to dole out
Life sentences and I did
Not know my official
Diagnosis. So I made
The decision to take less.
And when I landed
In hospital for the second
Time I did not oppose
The decision to incease
The dose by a considerable step.