Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv
I had a falling out with my whole FOO; mother, dad, and two sisters, plus one niece. In brief, I was treated as though I am not cared for and my hurt intentionally ignored. We moved on from the original conflict that set this off, not to speak of it again, even though I was the one painted 100% the antagonist, which is not true. But now none of them call me nor I them.
If I want to have any relationship with them, it will have to be me to call and act like nothing ever happened. It kills my soul to have to do this yet once more as this has been a pattern of abuse with my mother, now it’s the whole family. 
I bear a huge grudge.
We are supposed to not bear a grudge and forgive and forget. But I don’t know if I want to eat crow and succumb to their abuse. It makes me feel too belittled.
It hurts me immensely to have fallen out with my whole family. It really wasn’t ever a healthy relationship anyway, now that I reflect on it.
I don’t know what to do. |
Opting out of relationships that you know are abusive is far from holding a grudge. A grudge is when you hold something over someone's head twhen they are aware of their offenses and have apologized or shown willingness to make amends.
It doesn't sound like they are willing or ready to do this and you have no obligation to be the bearer of the blame in this. In fact you shouldn't. If you know you've done anything to offend, admit your guilt if given the chance but I wouldn't go out of your way to patch things up.