BOO! I just lost my whole post.

Dear T,
I just lost a really good post to my dismay. I hope we are still the same and are able to continue my therapy. YOu said the other day that you had never heard me say some things. Like, my meds., no I have never told you. I hope just telling you that would allay my guilt, but didn't happen. I feel like the worst patient ever. And maybe I am. I hope that you aren't going to act differently to me. I feel so horrible.

I am not sure if you have decided to keep me as a patient, or if you will keep me a short while while you slowly say things that hurt regarding my attachment. I would rather you just tell me instead of sending hints or anything. I don't want to hurt you and I don't want to be me. You kept telling me, "I haven't heard that before." When I said the day lasted forever. I did tell you this quite a few times. It's an odd existence. If you want to leave, I don't blame you, I would do the same if I could. But will you please just tell me instead of dragging me along until the end. Don't get me wrong, though I absolutely want to keep going to therapy with you. I just don't want to drag you down. You don't deserve that. I adore you and I hope we aren't done yet. Please verbally let me know, okay?