Saw T today, and immediately told him I wad really anxious but wasn't sure why I was feeling that way. I explained that the morning was already a rough start with my.baby being sick and electricians being at my house. I told him about how I sometimes bite my hands while I'm driving if I'm feeling anxious, and he asked what do I do in session when I'm feeling like that. I showed him the fidget that I've been bringing with me the past week and told him how that helps me. We got on the subject of being able to speak my mind freely in session and the whole issue for me about the couch and foot rests. I think we spent most of the sessions talking about that and how I worry that if I let him in as a therapist and allow myself to be comfortable in session that I'll get hurt by him terminating me or leaving his practice like my other past therapists have done. We also talked about how past therapists have measured in checklists on how I was doing and that I didn't find it helpful, how he sees therapy as a process. I only see him on Monday and hopefully Tuesday morning if I can figure out childcare because of Thanksgiving.