I am sorry you are in this situation now.

Id also expect him to eventually get violent when you two don’t live with parents. If he was violent once he’ll be again.

Honestly even though he did seem to pretend for awhile, he showed you who he was on the very first date. Throwing you around the room ad pushing you down and yelling in your face was him showing his true nature: very unstable. When you decided to dump him, he figured he needs to play nice.but he remained unstable even if he was not physically violent. Stable people don’t quit their jobs sold their houses in order to sleep all day and live with their parents, they don’t do it even for traveling around to have adventures with girlfriends. So even if he was adventitious or somehow great (?), he never really catfished. He showed his unstable nature all along. When people show you who they are, believe them.

But you aren’t obligated to stick around. As soon as green card comes in, get out and either get a job and rent a place in the us far away from him or go back to uk. ASAP

PS I dint think the issue is love or amount of it. It’s just who he is. You are seeing true him. Very unwell, unstable and simply not marriage material regardless how much he loves you