Anxiety is skyrocketing again. I don't remember what it was like was like before I went back to work three months ago. I still had it but it definitely reached nowhere near these proportions. Part of the anxiety is on account of the fact I have no choice but to work. I worry that if something happens to this job that I am pretty much screwed. This in turn adds to the anxiety regarding my performance at work.

ANXIETY part 1 - The worry and panic has peaked again. This evening I will do a new duty I have not been trained for or had opportunity to job shadow. I resent this as I feel I am only set up to fail. I was thrown into this on account of a coworker having a family crisis. Not a single other coworker who IS trained for and experienced doing this particular role stepped forward to help her out by taking her shift. I did so because this is what coworkers do - they help one another when emergencies arise. The management is aware I have not been trained for this and have agreed out of their being no choice; despite the fact these duties are pretty critical. Hence my worry about screwing it all up. At least the woman wrote down for me the list of duties and procedures. I feel a little bit better about that. Still, I am being thrown into a pack of wolves. As a former manager myself this seems so very wrong. The store leadership should have made an effort to resolve this on their own instead of forcing this poor woman to come up with a solution. I am very disappointed in them - yet again. This is not an example of good and fair leadership. At the very least they should be more supportive of the position I have been placed in and come forward with a plan of action taking into account I am unexperienced. At the very lease, they should acknowledge this and validate my concerns.

ANXIETY part 2 - Dental worry. I am sure there are many here who hold their hands up high, "Me too!" I lost part of a tooth on Thursday night. Apparently I cracked it ages ago and it finally came loose. Gee it hurts and the dentist can't extract it until Wednesday on account it requires surgery and I have demanded sedation. I can't afford to do such but my anxiety is just too bloody high to sit in a chair awake during the procedure. Worry, worry, worry, panic, panic, panic.

Jeepers. When am I going to finally going to get a win in this battle.