I had a very similar experience in my therapy--and I can't explain it either. But I do understand exactly what you're describing, and I feel the same way. I think the other posters are right that even though it may feel painful at first....ultimately things like self-reliance, autonomy, independence, and all that good stuff are fostered by no-outside contact (assuming you have a good T who knows his/her stuff). At least that has been my experience.