I can do relate to this. I have anxious ambivalent attachment and try all sorts to get to love me and leave me. I drive myself and her crazy.
I have talked about this with t a bit and she says even being aware of doing it is helpful.
I have called t all the names under the sun and accused her of all sorts and she still hasn’t left. Sometimes she has done or said things that have caused me to react like that too so there is two of us in it.

She tells me she is very challenging and that is just part of her personality it’s not personal but because of my history I feel like she is attacking me at times! I get angry and frustrated and then t can get defensive. I said I didn’t want to fight and she says, oh are we fighting, I didn’t realise. So we both have different perspectives on what’s happening.