No worries about overposting. It’s helpful for you and you should do it until you feel you don’t have to anymore.

As you know, I went through something very similar. Except I lost many, many more years of my life with the painful obsession. For me it didn’t go away, and I’m telling you this because certain schools of thought would have you believe if you could only have stuck with it and worked harder, or if she would only have taken you back, things would have worked out in the end. The awful truth is that nobody knows :/ For me, living like an emotional prisoner over many years became absolute hell and I wish that my therapist, instead of selfishly soaking up my adoration, would have done the right thing and referred me on. What happened to me was not therapy... it was something else.

Part of me wants to dissuade you from hoping to connect with her someday, but maybe you just need to hold on to that a little longer. Despite everything I’ve gone through, from time to time I still think back to my years in therapy looking for signs of caring. I hold some faint hope that she will send me an email or a letter giving me some kind of closure or a kinder ending, or make sense of everything. For me, it’s a dream of being saved by a hero from the pains of life.

Hang in there. The pain fades. Hopefully you were able to get out of the situation where you ran into her from time to time. If not, it may take a little longer.

Wishing you hope and healing!