Its been 3 months now since I have worn my wedding rings. I am not sure what that means. For months now I have been thinking that its over. But I am not sure. I have had a few close relationships thru the internet. I have felt deep things for them. Most have rejected me, after seeing that I wasnt their type . And that is ok. Whatever tricks their trigger. But I have realized one thing. That no matter where I am , who I am , or who I am with. I will be alone in this manner of having a true partnership. And for me that is not ok . For me I cant bear the rejection and the pain that comes with that. And I dont know if I am willing to put my heart out there for anyone anymore . Maybe this is what I get for doing what I have done. Maybe I deserve this loneliness and hurt. I dont know ,but I cant figure out how to get past it. I dont know how to live by myself and it terrifies me. I have never been on my own. And I am too scared to go from what I have now with a home and vehicle and my pets, to I'm not sure what. At least there is some security here. But I dont know if its enough anymore.

Tryin