Hugs what your going through is normal. For me it's been 9 years since my first t dump me out of no where one night it took along time for me to go through a day without thinking about her. I still miss her terribly. It took me a long time to not wish my t back and it took lots of support from my t who i have now to listen and vent about her. Be kind to yourself and it will take time everyone is different. Hugs