I'm basically trapped in the same corner, so to speak. I think you could describe me as a negative atheist, though I like the thought of "keeping my options open". I've described myself as an agnostic for many years, but I'm not really sure how I feel about this: sometimes, I just think that life is a long series of trials and difficulties and then you die. No god, no afterlife, no reward, no nothing. End of the show.

When I was a kid, I used to think that me and my family were quite lucky. I thought god watched over us. Then, I grew up and started considering all the madness we've been through and, because of that and other reasons, I just gave up on religion. It just feels like a joke, a very cruel one. This is obviously my opinion, I'm not one to attack people's beliefs. I respect everybody and I firmly believe that what matters most is finding your own place in the world, with all that entails.

As for my friends, well, I can say there's a connection with regards to that as well. My friends have become self-absorbed, pompous and kinda snobbish. I have no time for that. It's incredibly hard to share something with them, even something as trivial as a TV show, a song or a picture. Most of them don't care. My closest friends live far away from me. All those people are successful and have done something with their lives, which only serves to make me sad and envious.

I know, my post won't do much for you in terms of consolation, but maybe what you can take from it is that you're not alone. I'm always here for you.