Quote:
Originally Posted by luvyrself
——-eve, you are very young and one of my favorites on the forum. These situations are immensely complex, like a 3 or maybe a 10 ring circus.
Do you actually think you would want to be face to face w your sweethearts ex on emotionally loaded occasions like holidays. Good intentions are great but how would that really feel? Maybe like the ex is making an awful lot of decisions that effect your life. The line has to be drawn somewhere , maybe not here but somewhere. I hope you never experience a situation like this. Very complicated.
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Aw thanks. I’m really not young. I’m 48. But yes, I agree that it would be very uncomfortable. But it doesn’t have to be. Thing is, she needs to think from the kids’ perspective and what’s best for them. When you get involved with someone who’s divorced with children, one must know and accept that the kids always come first. And one must accept and deal with the ex wife. That’s always the situation. So the person has to be secure enough in themselves and make some compromises if they truly love the person.
It sounds like they made positive progress in therapy, however, and as though things may be turning around.
My concern was she was initially being too rigid with her ideology of how relations with ex’s should be. If she wants this relationship to work, she’s going to have to bend and put her own wishes on the back seat for the family’s sake. She needs to be a grown up about it. Dealing with an ex wife on a few occasions isn’t that horrible if you’re secure in your love for each other. I think it’s extremely immature and petty to demand complete separation. It’s like come on, grow up and be an adult. So respectfully, I disagree with you there.