I actually had to Google IRL...if that doesn’t scream how old I am, nothing will. The hubby and I were, oddly enough, discussing this very topic on the way home from our visit to my daughter this weekend. Even though I have raised two children now both in there mid to late thirties, I still don’t know how to read that generation well or the younger Millennials. I think I get a handle on it but it slips away like smoke. Maybe that’s part of the reason. It’s hard to fully invest in life when your head and so much of life occurs or centers around the virtual in some way. Please understand this is NOT an insult or negative aspect in any way at all.

Whenever one generation is dominant when the world shifts in major ways such as the explosion of the internet or a turn of the Great astrological wheel from one age sign to another such as Pisces to Aquarius, it takes a period of adjustment. Those my age had no choice but to learn to create life long friend bonds unless we wanted to be hermits or outcasts. It was sometimes extremely painful but also much more fulfilling when it worked. If you think a close friend cannot break your heart, you’ve never had a close friend.

True, unconditional platonic friendship is a dying art...at least that’s how most might see it. In this disposable world, there is no real attachment to anything or anyone. I’m fine with the anything part ((except when my children say I should recycle more. I live in the middle of nowhere with zero options for recycling so I do the best I can to purchase quality over quantity and buy in bulk when possible, use leftovers, make my own beauty products and use natural cleaners as opposed to chemical ones...but, that’s another thread entirely.

It just seems that young folks have forgotten how to communicate with each other without a screen between them. Kids are fine with their social media friends but either over use or ignore the ones who are actually in the room with them. I get it. Adulting and mature friendship isn’t always easy. Neither is a solid marriage or a good parent child dynamic. It takes work. It requires commitment, balance and the ability to ebb and flow without breaking. Definitely not for the weak. Lol.

But...here’s the universal truth in this whole friendship thing. If you don’t at least like yourself enough to seriously believe you deserve fair, respected treatment, you will never receive it. People fall into the law of attraction just like any other form of energy. If you don’t believe, without a doubt, you ARE worthy of a real, unconditional love from anyone, platonic or deeper, it will not stay in your life. Now, here’s why I use the word “stay” and not a phrase like “show up”.

The Universe keeps trying to help by putting some amazing folks in our path, no matter how crappy we treat ourselves. It’s up to us to notice they are there and change our vibration to something positive enough to draw them in. If not, they will skip right off your perception like a marble off the atmosphere. I know it seems backwards but in order to be genuinely loved, we must first trust the one person to love us that we truly cannot exist without...ourselves.

It ain’t easy for those of us with chemical imbalances to do that. Trust me. But, it is a non negotiable part of it. I’m not saying you have to carry rose pedals in your pocket to throw in front of your path as you walk it...I’m just stating that you need to, at the very least, have enough inner fire to see yourself as worthy of respect and then follow through by respecting yourself...this means to monitor and watch yourself then check your ego every time it attempts to run you down. As we learn to care for ourselves, we find it easier to see and draw the good people to us.

I’ve had and lost a lot of good friends before I learned this. I’m not saying it’s their own fault if they don’t have good friends. That’s BS and don’t ever let anyone tell you different. I’m saying that without respect of self...getting respect from anyone else is damn hard to do.

The best friend we will ever have is ourselves and we are 100% in charge of that relationship AS LONG as we stay fully aware.

Find something amazing about yourself every day. Journal it. Only put positive things in your journal. Have upbeat dialogue with yourself every day. Before you go to sleep, remember only the positive things you did that day, pat yourself on the back. Just don’t high five yourself. Most people find that creepy.

It is possible to develop real friendships. It just takes two folks willing to invest in one another and that starts by investing in yourself first.

OK, end of Old Lady pep talk. You know you better than anyone else. Start there and work your way out.