I dont' believe in "finding" the one nor that they exist. I believe in choice and that choice is in that you find the one you desire to have in your life and decide to commit yourself to them for life and that makes them the one. It kind of takes "fate" and all that hoopla out of the mix and also removes the ability to make excuses for why things didn't work out if they don't. Hmm, suppose I should elaborate.

When relationships and marriage is based solely on choice which I believe it is, it says a couple of things. if the relationship were to do well and be the ideal one for you it's because the two people make the choice everyday to remain committed through everything and work on things because of that commitment. If it is based on the idea of some ambiguous feeling or thought that this person has to be some special Ideal, it will pretty inevitably fail because there is no perfect one for anyone because no one is ... well... perfect. When you acknowledge that the failure and/or success of your relationship is based on decision and commitment it is not only empowering but far more rewarding than some idea that they are the "One" and you were lucky to find them blah blah blah.. meaning you had no choice in making things work or not, because well it's because they are the One.

Which idea is more believable to you?