Oh thats interesting. I was just saying on the couch how i told a guy on the elevator "you cant smoke in here" and boy he took it badly, but i also sounded more strident out loud than i did in my head, which i often - some would say always - do. But i thought that was the mother's voice / attitude, if not her words. My t was often taken aback (i should say hurt or stung) by my abruptness, which is what taught me kindness.