Brief writeup (OK, perhaps not so brief...) from Thursday's session before I head out for today's. Spent first 5-10 minutes ranting about the miserable weather. I said how I was either dedicated or crazy to drive to see him in the sleet. T: "I don't like the word 'crazy.' Let's go with 'dedicated.'" Me: "OK."

I mentioned how I'd gone for a 2-mile walk in the cold weather the day before, that I'd only planned to go for a mile but opted to continue because I felt pretty good. T: "Good for you!"

I said I'd gotten D's report card the day before and it made me feel sad. How I'd been feeling good about her progress until I read that, with so many 3's for effort in reading, math, and behavior (lowest rating--"needs improvement") and so many "N's" ("not yet apparent") in math and reading. T (in a caring voice): "I'm sorry it made you feel bad."

The rest of the session was about stuff with D. As most probably know, she's on the autism spectrum, and T's son is also on the spectrum (a few years older than my D), though he rarely mentions him. That session, it felt like he was talking to me both as a T and as a fellow parent of a kid on the spectrum--I just felt a particularly high level of empathy and understanding from him.

For example, he was asking how much we work on at home with her. I said probably not enough, that I felt guilty about it at times. He said I didn't need to feel guilty. That parents of kids on the spectrum play the roles of case manager, occupational therapist, speech/language pathologist, plus some other roles (I forget what all he said). Me: "So I'm probably playing more roles than the parent of a neurotypical kid?" T: "Not 'probably'--you definitely are." Me: "OK, that helps to hear..." I said how H often acted like she was just a typical kid, which made it hard.

T was saying how we need to particularly address the behaviors (like not paying attention, etc.) before she can really do the learning. And how we need to essentially come up with an IEP for home (IEP is individualized education plan, which she has for school that includes things like speech therapy, sensory breaks during the day, some time working on social skills, etc.--she's mainstreamed, so these are accommodations to help her). And that H and I need to be on the same page about stuff. And to determine what we can afford, what we have time for, etc. (like if we wanted more outside services, as he said there's a limit to what school can do).

T: "It might be helpful for you to go to a marriage counselor...uh..." he kinda laughed to himself as he caught himself, reminded of ex-MC. "More of a family therapist, but not so much for you and H to work on marriage but to talk about D, to come up with a plan together. Even just for a session or two." I said that sounded like a good idea, and I hoped H would be willing to do that. I asked if he had any names for me that weren't part of a particular major organization here that provides services for kids with special needs, since we hadn't had best experiences with behavioral therapists there. T said he wouldn't suggest there anyway, adding, "I wouldn't take my son there." Which was surprising, because he never mentions his son in relation to autism. So it was like he was openly acknowledging that parallel there.

(Note for those who don't know: It wasn't him who told me about his son, it was ex-T who mentioned it when I said I'd be seeing him, like "Oh, he has a son on the spectrum." I eventually told T about it like a month or two in when we were discussing fidget toys and he seemed a bit too knowledgeable about the subject and I started feeling awkward for knowing. He was glad I'd told him but a bit p*ssed at ex-T for sharing that with me. I'm kind of glad I know though, because it makes me feel like he gets it, even if we don't actually talk about his son at all.)

He said he'd ask some colleagues for a suggestion of a name, that I wasn't the first client to ask about that--which he said is evidence of how prevalent autism has become. I mention the size of the local autism parents group on Facebook and how that suggests it as well.

Ended by confirming today's session and that I'm on schedule for Wednesday. I said I was still a little on the fence about coming twice this week, and he mentioned that he'd also be in Friday (day after Thanksgiving) in the morning, that we could just discuss Monday. I said I didn't want to cause any issues with scheduling for other clients (like if I changed my mind about Wed.), but he said not to worry about it. Went over, paid, shook hands, as he said to have a good weekend, and I said "You, too." I reminded him about checking on a family therapist, and he thanked me for reminding him, said he'd email colleagues after his next client.