I also got the message when I was a child that what I felt and thought was wrong, and I have therefore suppressed my feelings and thoughts, saying them is my aim in therapy (it's a slow work in progress). It's interesting how different children adopt different strategies.

I think that smoking in a lift is appalling behaviour. Good for you UnaLuna for speaking up about it, and shame on him that he didn't sheepishly appogise for impacting your health.