My baseline has always been on the depressive side. I've come to accept it. There's a lot of life factors for me that seem to keep me low. I'm exhausted 24/7 I just want to be my happy self again. My manic/psychotic episodes took so much out of me, I feel my brain is fried at this point. The zyprexa seems like it is just way too strong and I feel like I would be happier off it. My p.a. didn't want to change my meds and I see the psychiatrist in 3 weeks.
Maybe they can tinker a bit I don't know.

It sucks because as long as we are not manic or suicidal people think we are doing good. That is not always the case.

And I agree, that fake it till you make it is sometimes our best option.