Thanks for the responses everyone!
Maybe I don't know what happiness feels like outside of hypomania, or maybe as I have gotten older, I forget. lol

The problem is my hypomania always turns bad,even though it is great to begin with. And my depressive "episodes" are really bad too, so it is hard to know what my normal happiness is supposed to be. It almost feels like black and white with blah in between.

Thanks everyone.