I've accepted I'm going to be alone for the holidays (again), and that the only gifts I'm going to be getting are ones I buy myself.

so no

it's upsetting but not affecting my condition

last year around this time I went on a bit of a shopping spre buying crap I didn't really need.

but I've not done this yet this year- I think because my money situation is so tight, not because I don't want to

give me cash and I probably will splash out- it helps me having a lot of self care shopping over christmas