very well said, 8! i agree with everything that 8 stated, maya.

you need to be in contact with t and let him know that it is urgent. i'm one to play off how badly i'm doing because what i felt never really mattered anyhow...then of course there's always that fear of bearing all then being rejected. but t can't know how badly you're doing unless you tell him. which i suggest you do ASAP.

as 8 said, you're not getting the support you need at home. i fear his jealousy is a form of controlling you or your actions...insomuch as he doesn't even like for you to call t. i'm not saying he's a bad man in the least...please don't think that. i do think that his own insecurities makes him want tokeep you within his line of "vision" so to speak.

please call t ASAP and let him know that you need to speak with him...state that you're not doing well and really need to talk with him.

i'm sorry for your grief and hope alot for you right now.

be safe,

kd