Kittybaby, dear, I'm sorry for your pain and suffering so much that life isn't worth it.

When I was suicidal about a year ago, there was nothing to stop me from killing myself.
But, now, my life is better. I'm happy. and I never would have imagined being happy.
and I am so thankful that I didn't commit suicide.
maybe that can inspire you. right now, all you wanna do is die. but in a year or two, you will be happy.

Another suggestion is to look into religion. religion gives meaning and purpose to life.

Good luck with everything!