Sometimes I wonder what it’ll take for me to pull myself together, each & every day...consistently. Is this even possible? It’s like I know what I need to do but I don’t have the will to do it & it kills me, because I know that I can’t afford to have a depressive episode right now! I have grad school & friends & bills, an internship, assignments...

& when it all gets too overwhelming, I just can’t get out of bed. That’s what happened today. I didn’t go into my internship. I did nothing. Finals are coming up in 2 weeks and I haven’t been studying. I got in an accident 2 weeks ago & I have to look for another car at the most inopportune time EVER, Thanksgiving’s coming up in 2 days & I don’t wanna spend it with my family because there’s always some sort of argument or issue when we get together, & I’m slipping back into a depression I feel like I can’t manage.

I know I need to find a way to cope & suck it up but I am sooo tired of relapsing, guys. Why must depression be so debilitating?? And I can’t tell my friends or Fam because no one will understand! No one ever does. I feel so alone.
Thanks for reading.