honestly for me it's about the realisation that this is it, this is all their is

I'm not going to kill myself, be reborn to another mom and live my life diffrently- so though I have tried 5 times, I think ultimately I'm not ready to actually go. their are things in life (small things) that I'd miss. even as simple as seeing the birdies outside my window.

I thihnk that's what I'd say to you- is try and find small reasons to get up in the morning, even things you're not ready to leave behind... like for example, even a nice warm bed- when you're dead, you won't have that luxury. you'll be somewhere cold, probably wet, and I imagine dirty.

but seriously.. little pleasures in life
being able to spray perfume and smell like lavender, or rose, or what ever.... when you're dead you won't smell no where near as good as that (I imagine, well, I don't really want to imagine)

even being able to touch the floor with your toes. it sounds a little thing, but being able to touch the floor with your bare toes and feel how cold and how hard it is is another simple joy in life